Updated April 2021
You return home from a long day to slurred speech, the odor of hard liquor on his or her breath, and meaningless conversation with someone who’s ‘not really there.’ They’re constantly forgetting things you’ve told them three to four times already and when you make any suggestion that they might have a drinking problem, they get angry and defensive. What do you do?
AUD is a chronic disease that affects the brain and an estimated 14.1 million adults in the U.S. suffer from this medical condition. 10% of adults over age 65 have also admitted to binge drinking, which increases the likelihood of developing AUD. WebMD shares there are many signs someone may have AUD, but the more symptoms they have the more severe their AUD may be.
Signs and Symptoms according to WebMD:
- Uncontrollable urge to drink
- Lack of control over how much you drink
- Negative thoughts when you’re not drinking alcohol
- Drinking in risky situations
- Drinking that interferes with fulfilling obligations
- Continuing to drink even though it causes problems or makes them worsen
- Stopping or doing less of important activities because of alcohol
Unfortunately, there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution for you to help your loved one recover. Each person living with AUD may cope with the disease and act differently, and some alcoholics may respond to feedback from a loved one better than others. We’ve compiled tips you can use to help your loved one through this disease.
Do Not Try to ‘Fix’ Them Yourself
It’s most important to remember that full recovery from AUD will be much more achievable with the help of a medical professional. You won’t be able to fix them, and this could become an endless cycle of frustration for you. An alcoholic will likely not be able to make a complete recovery without professional help. Keep this in mind and do not put the burden of healing their illness on yourself. Continue to encourage them to get professional help, and if needed, stage an intervention.
Do Not Enable Their Behavior
Defending someone’s poor choices, drinking alongside them, denying there’s even a problem, and buying them alcohol are all ways you might be unknowingly supporting an alcoholic’s drinking habits. If you really want their behavior to change, make sure you are not enabling their current habits.
Have Open and Honest Conversations
Don’t be afraid to tell your loved one how you feel about their drinking habits but do so in a non-confrontational way and only when the person is sober. PsychCentral highlights two rules to follow: keep it simple and tell the truth, and they also provide other valuable advice that might help you start that first conversation.
Encourage Them to Be Honest with Their Doctor
A primary care provider can help your loved one access resources they need if they are open and honest about their alcohol use. The honest chat with their doctor could also open up conversation about the potential health risks their alcoholism could cause. Hearing this from a professional might give your loved one the wake up call they need to start making a lifestyle change.
Watching a loved one struggle with alcoholism is extremely hard and no one is meant to take on this challenge alone. The constant stress may start to take a toll on your own health as well. Make sure you schedule an appointment with your primary care provider and talk to them about getting connected to the counseling and support you need.
If you are a member of Arizona Care Network, feel free to contact our concierge by calling 602.406.7226 or emailing members@azcarenetwork.org. The concierge can connect you to resources you need, help you schedule an appointment with an in-network mental health professional, and more.
